Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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