the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
