I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
