Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
