I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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