real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize