i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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