Im at strip club and am horny
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
