So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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