everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
