Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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