so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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