Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
