i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
