you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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