just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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