the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
