im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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