Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
