idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
