we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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