i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
