my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
