So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize