She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
His nipple licking is glorious
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