Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
