You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
