After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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