Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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