I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
