She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
