Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
