i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
