Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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