I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
