He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize