Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I'm really busy with my period
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