Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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