She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize