whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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