is your mom at the bar?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize