people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
