I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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