my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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