is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
