Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
