can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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