Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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