I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
