Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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