sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
