My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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