Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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