White coat. Heels.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
