why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
