we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
