i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
