Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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