It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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