I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
