I should be sponsored by Trojan
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
sex in a hospital.. check
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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