Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Your penis caused this!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
