i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
