oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
