Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
